Norman Rockwell’s “Home for Thanksgiving”
First appeared on the cover of The Saturday Evening Post on November 24, 1945.
I hope and pray that all of you who read this have a blessed Thanksgiving this year. I hope those of you who have been far from home and your loved ones, either working on the road or maybe stationed far from home, are able to be with those you love.
On November 16th, 2022, my Mom, who was in her late 80s, went to a hospital suffering from Congestive Heart Failure. After she left, she went to a nursing facility for rehab for 30 days. After that, she came home and was on hospice. She became bedridden in April of this year. On October 21, she passed away. She was just a couple of weeks short of being 91.
I promised her that I wouldn't let her die in a convalescent hospital. Over the last three years, I've tried to live up to my promise. With the help of my brother and sisters, I'm glad she was able to last for three years. Now that she's passed, I wish I had more time with her. And no, I cannot find the words to tell you how much it would mean to me to spend one more day with her.
So yes, that's the point of this post. That's what I'm preaching today. Be with those you love. Have your family and friends around you. Make time for those you care about. Talk with them. Laugh with them. Find something in common. Chat about the price of gas, the weather, your favorite foods, their favorite foods, find out how Aunt Martha's doing, find out if someone has heard from Uncle George, ask about the new horse in the round pen, ask how the old truck is running, find out if anyone heard about the stranger who paid for someone's meal without them knowing.
Talk to each other. Visit. Make memories. Laugh along with those you love. Love being with those you love being around. Find out about those you care about. Ask about your family ancestry instead of wishing you had later. Talk about things that you've been curious about. It's okay to ask if someone knows who's on first, what's on second, or if they don't know the guy on third.
It's all about memory making. It's all about what you're going to wish you had asked and what you're going to miss later. It's all about being thankful you have the time right now to get to know the person you will wish were still around later.
\
I loved talking with my Grandfather, my Dad, my Mom, and so many others who are no longer here. I loved hearing about "the Old Days," the horse named "Anytime" that bucked anytime it felt like it, that mule supposed killed a plantation worker, Big Jim the bull that busted our loading chute, that time we spent hours in the rain in the saddle looking for a few elusive head of cattle that we were told got out of the fence, the times when memories were so vivid that you could almost see them again.
I love remembering my Grandfather's stories, thinking about how my Dad would shake his head at hearing Grandpa's tales for the 100th time, and my Mom laughing at those same old stories, knowing that Grandpa was a great storyteller. And yes, a lot of folks wondered how my Grandpa could remember the stories and the jokes he told.
Well, I remember the day that I found out the secret to his storytelling. It was the day he told me that liars have to have great memories if they plan to remember their lies. As for telling a story? He said, the secret to telling a good story is to tell the truth -- just make it sound like it's made up. And yes, to me, that was too simple and easy to do.
"Always tell the truth when telling a story. Of course, always remember," he'd say, "Most people won't believe it anyway."
Now that I'm closing in on the age that my Grandfather was when he passed away, I think about how I'm a lot like him in that I enjoy spinning a yarn now and then. And yes, I enjoy wondering who believes what might sound like a far-fetched tale versus who simply thinks I'm just "full of shit."
For me, when telling a joke, I've found that being "full of shit" in a metaphorical sense, making things up, exaggerating, and being a little absurd can make jokes funny. Whether I'm telling folks about getting drunk with a monkey back in 1975 or some other tale, I know some folks wonder which of my tales are fabricated and which are true. And yes, I always keep in mind that most people won't believe those stories anyway.
So yes, the way I see it, if I can leave my friends and family with the memory of a good laugh or two, even at the expense of their thinking that I'm "full of shit," then that's fine with me. After all, if I can leave folks thinking I made them smile and laugh, or maybe made them think about something they might not have, or shared an interesting tidbit of history that they found interesting, that's not a bad thing.
This being Thanksgiving, I'm thankful that I took the time to get to know my Grandparents, my Mom and Dad, and those I now miss. I'm thankful that I got to know my father-in-law, because I really do miss him. And yes, I'm very thankful that my brother Howard and I have gotten closer over the past couple of years. I'm extremely thankful for the love and support of my wife during this stressful time of caring for my Mom. My wife has been right there with me, and her support has made all the difference in the world. Her love has kept me standing when I've had a hard time dealing with things.
For a few years, especially when I was in the Marines stationed away or later working out of town, I would always call Mom at Thanksgiving. This Thanksgiving is different because it's the first time that my Mom won't be just a phone call away. For the first time that I can ever remember, we won't be able to compare meals or find out what she served this year versus what I ate at the chow hall or at some restaurant. We won't talk about who brought what dish, when people arrived, who got there late, or whether there are leftovers to make that turkey sandwich on Friday.
This year, I'm grateful to God for my family and friends, my health, and for being able to fulfill my promise to Mom. Yes, even if all I have now of my Mom is her stories, her laughter, and her love, I'm blessed and grateful to God for that.
From what I've learned recently, getting to know our friends and loved ones better brings health benefits, like lower stress, increased happiness, and can even give us a greater sense of belonging. It can also mean less depression, anxiety, and being closer to friends and loved ones are crucial during difficult times.
So, go talk to your relatives. Get to know them. They may fool you. You might find out that your thoughts about someone in your family being a jerk were not exaggerated. But then again, you might be surprised and find out that you have more in common with those you love. And yes, you'll be thankful for doing it.
So from my family and me to you and yours, I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving.
God bless you all.
Tom Correa
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you for your comment.