Been There, Roped That

A Cowboy Poem by Benny Bence

I been to that ranch and I roped that cow and what I tell ya is true. 

I've had every horse with 'bout every name from Red to Fred to Blue. 

I've watched near every Western and I've drank near every beer. 

And I'm willing to fight with all my might the man who calls me queer. 

I've been to France, I've been to Spain, I've been to Mexico. 

I've roped in the day, I've roped in the night, and I've wrangled up in Idaho. 

I've been to Texas and the Alamo and I've lived many a life. 

I've loved me many a woman, but I only have one wife. 

I have three lovely daughters and one outstanding son. 

Why heck, by the time he was just thirteen, I gave him his very first gun. 

I've been on TV with Johnny and Dave and I've been on NBC. 

I missed my chance at the Golden Girls, but that don't bother me. 

I've shook the hand of ol' John Wayne and Robert Mitchum too. 

And Hell no, I won't take offense if ya call me buckaroo. 

I've been in many a bar fight and I damn sure won them all. 

And I can still challenge any man when trouble comes to call. 

My old belt buckle and Stetson hat are part of who I am. 

And the wrinkles I got on my face, they came from not giving a damn. 

I like Marty Robbins and love my wife, and that, buckaroo, is true. 

And as long as you are nice to me, then friend I'll be nice to you. 

I've done all this and plenty more and folks I ain't no liar. 

But if one of you still thinks I'm wrong, you can set my pants on fire!